If you are like most people, when you do a review of your life up to this point, you probably have at least a couple of decisions, actions or inactions that, on reflection, make you wince or give you a heavy feeling in your heart.
According to an article by Diana Bruk in which she refers to a study conducted by Cornell Psychologists in a paper entitled “The Ideal Road not Taken”, there are three elements that make up a person’s sense of self. Your actual self, comprising qualities that you believe you possess; your ideal self, made up of the qualities you want to have; and, your ought self, the person you feel you should have been, according to your obligations and responsibilities.
In surveying the responses of hundreds of participants in six studies, the researchers found that, when asked to name their single biggest regret in life, 76 percent of participants said it was not fulfilling their ideal self.
“People are quicker to take steps to cope with failures to live up to their duties and responsibilities (ought-related regrets) than their failures to live up to their goals and aspirations (ideal-related regrets),” the study reads.
“In the short term, people regret their actions more than inactions,” Gilovich said. “But in the long term, the inaction regrets stick around longer.”
This really rings true to me since so many of my clients come because they feel stuck and unable to take the required steps to get results they say they want. So, my question to you is what dream, goal or burning desire have you been putting off? What is it that would truly make a HUGE difference to your happiness quotient if you were to do it? Life is not guaranteed – none of us know for sure how long our tenure here will be. Rather than scare the pants off of you, this is meant to drive you to take action towards that which will truly enrich your existence here, and maybe even meaningfully impact the lives of family, friends, and perhaps local and far flung communities.
And, what holds you back? What keeps you procrastinating? For most of us it that big four-letter word FEAR! Sometimes we hold limiting beliefs about ourselves that keep us colouring inside the lines – we are bounded by all the must, ought, should and have to do rules and regulations that we have allowed to be imposed on us. Some of them keep us ‘safe’ and allow us to take care of our obligations (a good thing!), but often we do so at the expense of expressing our creativity, passions and talent, which we tuck away deep inside until one day, they become our biggest regret!
Well, suppose you were able to get rid of that fear, make a sound and ecological plan and feel confident in taking the necessary action to make those dreams a reality? Can you imagine what that might feel like?
If you would like to learn some of the rudiments about how you could go about doing just that, then join me for my (practically) FREE NLP Coaching Weekend, August 25-26, 2018, in Kingston, Jamaica!
Contact me for further details and to book your spot – spaces are limited and filling up FAST!
Liz Terry
NLP Trainer and Master Coach
876-556-5177
www.limitlesstransformationja.com